What is the etiquette for exchanging greetings? What is the correct way of greeting in islam?
When a Muslim sees a Muslim brother or sister, he/she becomes happy.
Muslims love each other very much. When they come together, out of affection for seeing the people they love most, they become happy and exchange greetings with smiling faces. The love, happiness, and peace that believers feel in their hearts for each other are manifestations, or reflections, of Allah’s attribute of “Salam” (Peace).
For this reason, when Muslims meet each other, they greet each other by saying “As-salamu ‘alaykum” or “Salamun ‘alaykum” (“Peace be upon you”). Those who are greeted respond by saying “Wa ‘alaykum as-salam” or “‘alaykum as-salam” (“And upon you be peace.”). One meaning of Allah’s name of “Salam” (Peace) is “that which protects His servants from all kinds of evil, hardships, and afflictions and brings them to safety.” From this perspective, giving and receiving salams has such nice meanings as “O my brother, I am Muslim. No harm will come to you from me, be safe and secure” and “Our Lord’s attribute of Salam surrounds us all, so live in peace and security.”
Allah Almighty tells us of the importance of giving salams in the Qur’an:
“When a (courteous) greeting is offered you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy. …” (al- Nisa, 4: 86). What we can understand from this verse is that returning a salam to the person who gives it is commanded by Allah, a fard (obligatory act). As for the initial salam, it is a very important sunnah of our Prophet -upon him blessings and peace-.
What should we pay attention to while giving salam?
Allah the Exalted says:
“When a (courteous) greeting is offered you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy …” (al-Nisa, 4: 86)
When someone says “As-Salamu ‘alaykum” we can return it by saying “Wa ‘alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullah” extending it in a beautiful way.
To the person who greets by saying “As-salamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullah” (May the peace and mercy of Allah be upon you), there is also a beautiful way to extend our reply: “Wa ‘alaykumu’s-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu” (May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you). We receive an additional reward for each extension.
Our Prophet -upon him blessings and peace- would usually be the first one to say salam. We should also try to be the first to say salam when we meet someone.
When we come across an acquaintance or a friend, after saying salam we shake hands.
It is not necessary that we know a person for us to say salam to him or her; we also say salam to people we do not know.
Just as we say salam when we enter a gathering, we also say salam when we leave.
When someone says salam to us, we respond immediately with a voice loud enough for him/her to hear, not in a voice too quiet or too loud.
In saying salam or returning salam, we should not use a voice that is impolite and harsh or an intrusive and idle manner.
If we as a group enter a gathering or a crowded place, it is enough if one of us from our group says salam. If just one person from the crowd returns the salam, that is enough as well.
In exchanging greetings, the young should be the one to say salam to the old; likewise, same rule applies to someone from a small group to those in a larger group, someone walking to someone sitting, and someone riding to someone walking.
THE PLEASURE OF EXCHANGING SALAMS
Abdullah ibn ‘Umar -May Allah be well-pleased with them-, would regularly go to the bazaar with Tufayl ibn Ubay -May Allah be well-pleased with him-.
One day, when Abdullah was walking to the bazaar together with his friend Tufayl, he saw a man selling old worn-out stuff and said salam to him. After that, he saw a merchant selling valuable goods and he said salam to him. Later, they saw a poor, forlorn man and Abdullah -May Allah be well-pleased with him- exchanged salams with him too. Then a rich man came and Abdullah -May Allah be well-pleased with him- also said salam to him. He said salam to many people, friends and strangers.
The next day Tufayl -May Allah be well-pleased with him- came again to his friend Abdullah ibn ‘Umar -May Allah be well-pleased with them-. Abdullah said:
– Come on Tufayl, let us go to the bazaar! Be an accompany to me.
– What are you going to do at the market? You do not buy anything. You pass by so many shops and sellers and you do not even ask about the prices of their wares.
– Come on, let us go again.
– But if you are not going to buy anything why do you want to go to the bazaar? You do not sit and talk with people anyway. Let us stay here and talk.
– O Abu Batin (“Father of a pot-belly”),
Tufayl -May Allah be well-pleased with him- was a little overweight. When Abdullah got angry at his dear friend, or when he wanted to tease him, he called him Abu Batin.
– Look Tufayl -May Allah be well-pleased with him-, the only reason we are going to the bazaar is to say salam. We are saying salam to the people whom we meet there. (Malik, Muwatta’, Salam 6), because our Prophet -upon him blessings and peace- said,
“You shall not enter Paradise so long as you do not affirm belief (in all those things which are the articles of faith) and you will not believe as long as you do not love one another. Should I not direct you to a thing which, if you do, will foster love amongst you: (i.e.) give currency to (the practice of paying salutation to one another by saying) as-salamu alaikum.” (Muslim, Iman, 93)
In what situations do not we give or return salams?
In the toilet, bathroom or bath we do not give or return the salam.
We do not say salam to someone who is trying to lead one to sin or to someone who is committing a sin. If they say salam, we do not return it.
We do not say salam to someone who is performing ritual prayer or reading the Qur’an.
We do not say salam to someone who is reading a hadith, preaching, or reciting the call to prayer.
Source; Islamic Etiquette, Faruk KANGER – Lokman HELVACI, Erkam Publications
Good Manners Towards Allah Almighty
Good Manners Towards Our Prophet
