What was the prophets relationship with his neighbors? What were neighbor relations like in islam?
“He who sleeps full while his next door neighbors sleep hungry is not a real believer of my message.” (Hakim, II, 15)
After family, our neighbors constitute the closest social environment. We live side by side with them for a long period that can even extend to our entire lives. They are the first ones to whom we run for help when we need it. We share our sadness and happiness with them. This is why Islam regards good relations with neighbors as very important. In the Holy Qur’an Allah the Almighty orders keeping good relations with relatives and neighbors, near and far, right after the commands of faith in Allah and the prohibition for ascribing partners to Allah the Almighty. (al-Nisa 4; 36)
Prophetic sayings present to us the essential principles for neighborly relations and the rights of neighbors. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) says that:
“Gabriel kept on advising me to treat neighbors kindly and politely so much so that I thought he would order me to make them as my heirs.” (Bukhari, Adab, 28; Muslim, Birr, 140, 141)
In this statement Allah’s Apostle (pbuh) points out that the rights of neighbors are almost as significant as the rights of the heirs. Therefore, there should be good relations between neighbors just like relations between relatives. In this respect, a neighbor’s religion does not make any difference. According to a narration there are three types of neighbors based on their rights upon us:
Non-Muslim neighbors: They only have rights as a neighbor.
Muslim neighbors: they have right as a neighbor and as a brother/sister in religion.
Neighbors who are both Muslims and relatives: they have rights based on being neighbors, brothers/sisters in religion and kin. (Haythami, VIII, 164)
Our Prophet (pbuh) would always warn his Companions about neighborhood relations and teach them neighborly manners in detail. Abu Dharr (r.a.) reported that Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) commanded:
“Whenever you prepare a broth, add water to it, and keep in mind the members of the household of your neighbors and then give them from it with courtesy.” (Muslim, Birr, 143)
In this tradition broth, which is the simplest of dishes, is a metaphorical example. In other words, this saying advices us that even if we prepare nothing but a simple soup, we need to share it with our neighbors. And especially those who are wealthy should offer their neighbors from the foods they have in abundance but of which their neighbors have none.
On the other hand, there is another subtlety in the advice to add some water in the soup. When water is added to soup, it mostly loses its good taste. In a way, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) tells us that it would not be appropriate behavior for a believer to desire good tasting food while people around him are hungry. He reminds us that we are believers and that we should take care of the hungry and needy. In one of his sayings, the Prophet (pbuh) says in this regard:
“He who sleeps full while his next door neighbors sleep hungry is not a real believer of my message.” (Hakim, II, 15)
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) addressed the female Companions about offering even something simple to their neighbors, saying:
“O Muslim ladies! None of you should consider even a sheep’s trotter too insignificant to give to her neighbor.” (Bukhari, Adab, 30; Muslim, Zakat, 90)
In this saying Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) advised the Muslim ladies that even if their offering is somewhat small, they should not think that it is not suitable as a gift; for it is said in an Arabic proverb: “al-jud min al-mawjud” which means that generosity is done from what is possessed. The Turkish proverb “Çam sakızı, çoban armağanı” which means pine gum is a shepherd’s gift also expresses the same point.
Those who receive a gift from their neighbors should not look down on it and consider it insignificant, but they should gratefully accept it. It should not be forgotten that such simple behavior is a feature of worship. One should remember the Prophet’s orders and advice about good treatment to the neighbors and then amend his intentions accordingly. In fact his Companions tried to live in accordance with this principle.
Abdullah b. Amr (r.a.) slaughtered a sheep. He told his family:
“Have you presented a gift from it to my Jewish neighbor? Have you presented a gift from it to my Jewish neighbor? For I heard the Apostle of Allah (pbuh) saying:
“Gabriel kept on commending the neighbor to me so that I thought he would make him an heir?” (Abu Dawud, Adab, 122, 123; Tirmidhi, Birr, 28)
In another narration it was reported that a sheep head was given to a Companion as a gift, and he said:
“My neighbor has more needs than I do” and he sent it to his neighbor. His neighbor did the same and sent it to another neighbor. Finally, after going to seven houses the sheep head came back to the first Companion.” (Hakim, II, 526)
It was narrated by Aisha (r. anha):
“I said:
“O Allah’s Apostle! I have two neighbors! To whom shall I send my gifts?” He replied,
“To the one whose gate in nearer to you.” (Bukhari, Adab, 32)
The reason for beginning from the nearer house when exchanging gifts is because neighbors who live nearer know their needs better. They are the first ones who smell what is cooking in each other’s house. Therefore, next door neighbors’ rights have a special meaning.
People satisfy some of their needs on their own while they get help from their neighbors in taking care of some other needs. In this context, the Turkish proverb: “neighbors are in need of the ashes of their neighbors” is very significant. Allah the Almighty reproaches those who abstain from helping their neighbors saying: “So Woe to…” (al-Ma’un 107; 4-7)[1] (Razi, XXXII, 108)
In a saying of the Prophet (pbuh), the essential principles of neighborhood relations are enumerated as follows:
- To give, when they ask to borrow something
- To run to their help when they need it
- To help them when they have financial problems
- To share their sadness and happiness
- To offer some home-cooked meals if smelt by the neighbors
- Not to carry out any construction without obtaining their consent first.
- To visit them when they are sick
- To attend to their funeral when they pass away. (Haythami, VIII, 165)
Even though Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) draws a very comprehensive framework about the rights of neighbors through these principles, it does not aim to list the entire rights but just enumerate the most important ones. In this respect, maintaining good relations with his neighbors without making any discrimination based on religion, culture, or place is an Islamic requirement upon a believer. He should act in accordance with the Islamic principles of helping each other, cooperate, not to give any harm to others, and not to stay angry for a long time.
According to a narration reported by Abu Hurairah (r.a.), a man asked the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) the following:
“O Messenger of Allah! People talk about a lady who performs many supererogatory prayers, gives charity in abundance, and fasts for many days, but she also hurts her neighbors with her tongue (i.e. is spiteful). What can you say about her?” Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:
“She will be among the residents of Hell.” The man asked again:
“O Messenger of Allah! People also talk about another lady who performs less prayer, gives little in charity, gives charity only from things of a low value, like a kind of cheese, but she does not hurt her neighbors with her tongue (what can you say about her)?”
Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said that:
“She will be in Paradise.” (Ibn Hanbal, II, 440)
Having good relations with neighbors and not hurting them with words and actions are the requirements of the Islamic faith. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said that:
“He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should treat his neighbor with kindness.” (Muslim, Iman, 74)
“He who believes in Allah and the Last Day does not harm his neighbor.” (Bukhari, Riqaq, 23; Muslim, Iman, 75)
According to a narration reported by Abu Hurairah (r.a.), one day the Prophet (pbuh) said,
“By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe!” It was said,
“Who is that, O Allah’s Apostle?” He said,
“The one whose neighbor does not feel safe from his evil.” (Bukhari, Adab, 29)
In another tradition, Our Prophet (pbuh) said that:
“He whose neighbor is not secure from his wrongful conduct will not enter Paradise.” (Muslim, Iman, 73)
A believer must be spiritually and materially in cooperation with his neighbors and give them confidence as a requirement of his faith. However, today there are people who live in the same building but do not greet or even know each other’s names let alone maintain good relations; whereas believers should try to know their neighbors as much as possible. At least they have to avoid negative actions. For instance, Muslims should avoid actions like talking loudly at home, turning up television’s or radio’s volume too high and disturbing their neighbors.
A true Muslim not only avoids causing damages to his neighbor’s house, garden, and property but also needs to know how to hide his secrets and flaws. Coveting a neighbor’s wife or daughters is something that cannot even be imagined for a true believer.
In short, having good neighborhood relations is every believer’s responsibility. Regarding those people who do not, who may behave irresponsibly towards their neighbors and disturb them, it is necessaryshow patience, to warn them in an appropriate way, even to treat them with kindness, and to pray for their improvement. In this way one may gain new friendship. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) advised Uqba b. Amir, who asked about meritorious acts:
“Do not cut your relations with those who cut their relations with you. Give to those who do not give you. Forgive those who treat you badly.” (Ibn Hanbal, IV, 148)
[1] The importance of informing a neighbor when borrowing something from him/her should be known. One cannot pass the borrowed item into one’s ownership and therefore one should not forget to return it. Any action contrary to this is against both the Divine command “O you who believe eat notyour property up among yourselves in vanities…” (al-Nisa 4; 29) and the actions of the Prophet (pbuh). Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) compensated a plate that he had borrowed from his neighbor. (Tirmidhi, Ahkam, 23) If a borrowed item is lost or broken, its owner may choose to forgive the borrower and not to force him to compensate for it. Nevertheless, borrowed items need to be used carefully, returned on time, and compensated if anything happens to them. Complying with these principles helps to establish good neighborhood relations whereas acting contrary to them can cause many adverse effects.
Source: The History of Prophets in Light of The Qur’an, THE CHAIN OF PROPHETS II, Osman Nuri TOPBAŞ, Erkam Publications
